Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
