New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
