i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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