I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
