this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize