just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
