So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
