she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
