he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
