So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
