Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
