Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
