Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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