I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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