so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
