I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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