I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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