Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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