not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
