Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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