We're like a lot better than the average bears
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
