so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
