i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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