there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
