Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
