you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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