'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How external is "for external use only"?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
