We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
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What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize