He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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