whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
