I want to walk on stilts...naked
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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