I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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