well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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