DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
