guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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