Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
