Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
