sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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