Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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