she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize