she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
