worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
