stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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