Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
