i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
