ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
