is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
