hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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