I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
