What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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