we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
