Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
