just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're using joints as your birthday candles
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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