hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize