what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
