i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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