i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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