Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
