4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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