So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
