For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
